some words

I read something this evening that made me think... It was on a blog and the quote was from a 90 yr old man that had recently died... "Sometimes you have pain. That doesn't mean you can be one." You know it makes you sit back and think of the deep down meaning of this statement...In my situation it makes me think in the lines of I can suffer with my situation, but I can not make others suffer for it. I sit here and think how many people have I caused to suffer by writing about my situation. How many people have I caused undo stress and worry by writing about what is going on in my life.... I know that this is my blog and this is my release...BUT I can not stand to think of what I may be doing to others by writing about some things.....Maybe I had already been thinking about that, because I have not been "Releasing" much lately...I know that those of you who read my blog are interested in my life and what may be going on....BUT it makes me sick to think of me "being a pain" and causing undo grief, stress and worry to anyone.
I also know that in the times of my "releasing" that you have also been right there for me, sending me Love, hugs and much needed support when I need it so. The prayers have been felt and needed more than anything....
I can not say that I will not write about things, because there are times that this is my only release and the only way that I can take another step. BUT I am here to say that I will try my best to not "be a pain"


I will tell you about my day today. I was woke up at 7:30 am by Brooke standing by my bed..."MOMMA I have a rough spot on my butt and I don't know what it is" Of course I said something like well honey maybe it is just a spot..."MOMMA" she yells at me...that really got me up, I check her out, and conclude that it is just a rough spot and I have no idea what it is. OF course by then the dog is hopping all over the bed, wanting to go potty, which in turn wakes William up (He can sleep through Brooke screaming, but not the dog jumping all over him) So I get up take the dog potty as I do the jig, because I have to go potty, and it has gotten REALLY cold since yesterday. I go to turn on the tea kettle, get the kids a glass of milk, and a cereal bar. I then go into the bathroom and go potty. By now William is yelling at me, because he can not find the remote control, so that he can hand it to his sleeping dad to put cartoons on. I did find it, under the edge of the couch where Jack must have dropped it when he fell asleep. Turn on the computer and find the kids Disney channel to watch. SO usually by the time I get all this done the tea kettle is whistling and I can get a cup of coffee (we drink instant, keeps us from drinking way to much coffee) I go into the kitchen, and there is the front burner all red hot....DUMB A** you turned on the wrong burner. NOW How long have I lived here, Yes I do believe it is going on 2 yrs, and I still to this day have a tendency to turn on the wrong burner. At least this time there was not a pan on the burner. I have also been know to get my cup of coffee, and forget to turn the burner off, in turn burning up the tea kettle...BUT after doing that I no longer buy enamel coated tea kettles, because you know what, they melt and then they leave this yucky enamel on the electric burner. SO I have to wait even longer to get the caffeine in me.
I finished the shawl today, and started the Red one. For some reason I can not find the pink boucle I had. I know I gave Katie a skein of it to make a shawl for a lady that's husband died, but I still had...so where in the world has it gone (probably in the mass mess of a bedroom that also serves as my fiber storage)
I had a dream when I laid down and took a nap with the kids (The meds I am on knock me on my A** an hour after I take them) I dreamt that I was at the craft sale with the land lady next Friday, and an elderly lady came up to our table, she was in a wheelchair and looked very fraile yet strong. She was admiring the blue shawl I made and she was having trouble reading the price. I told her $25 was what I was asking for it. She told me it was beautiful and that she wished she had the money to buy it. I said to her that maybe she could talk a family member into buying it for her, and that I could set it aside for awhile if she wanted to check. She told me she had no family, and thanked me for the offer and started to leave. I could not let her go, I picked up the shawl, stood in front of her and asked if she would lean forward so that I could put it on her. I then asked if I could have a hug as payment for the shawl. She cried and so did I. I told her that I hoped that when ever she wore that shawl that she would know that someone was thinking of her. That is how the shawl got done before dinner, because after that dream I woke up and had to finish it. I am about half way done with the Red one, and since I cannot find the pink boucle I will use some Cotton Fleece to make another. I will keep making shawls until Friday and however many I get done is what I will take. Whether I make a cent on them or not, I know that they will be going to some ladies at the nursing home, and I hope to be able to meet the ones who receive them. My biggest hope is that I meet the lady in my dream, and I will know that it is her, and she will get the blue shawl, and I will get that hug....

I had a very rough night with the kids, they are both already getting restless from us not spending much time outside. They are just so full of energy, and then they get so darn bull headed when you try to get them to settle down. Brooke can get her little attitude and start acting like a little brat, and in turn William takes her cue and follows suit. I gave them bath to settle them down, that worked for about 30 minutes, then it started all over again, so I gave them a snack of apples, grapes and cheese crackers, that worked for another 30 minutes. Then I just tried to ignore it all, but when you have a jack ass sitting in his chair more concerned as to if he can hear the TV or not,and starts getting loud, then I can not take anymore. SO to shut him up I got the kids in the bedroom. WELL for an hour we fought over them going to sleep. I finally turned off everything and laid down myself. It was do that or beat them to a pulp and the second was not an option at all.....I did snooze for about an hour and now I am sitting here, thinking I really could go back to sleep. I guess the Red Shawl will get done tomorrow.

I hope all of you are having a wonderful weekend...

Hugs the ones you love and pray for those you don't..............