Have you ever

Have you ever sat there arguing with someone in your head??? I do that on occasion, I will sit there and replay an incident in my head and come up with a different way I could have argued a point, or if it was not an argument in the first place, how I should have approached the incident...

Well that is not bad (at least I don't think so) but it is not good when you are sleeping or suppose to be sleeping....

I had so many arguments going on in my head about various things and incidents....that I almost got out of bed and turned on the laptop to put them down on here.....BUT then I thought, what good would that do...but to air dirty laundry and not make me feel any better in the long run, because that would just stir up new arguments....

I have always been what you call a "passive aggressive" I will tell you what you want to hear, to save an argument, but will then just turn around and do what I want to do anyways...

EX. I was working in a factory and the foreman came to me and told me I was not doing the job right there was an easier way to do it (maybe for them it was easier), so I went along with her suggestion (while she was there) and as soon as she left, I went right back to doing it MY way....Hey the job was getting done, it worked for me, and the parts were not bad..BUT I did not want an argument.....another EX. someone will say something about lets say my husband, well I do not want to argue that it is non of their business, so I will just sit and listen, but I would rather give them an earful and tell them to mind their own business....

I can pull these things off for so long, and keep my mouth shut, for so long, and then BAM....it all blows up from being pent up for way to long....That is what I have been doing lately, I have been letting it all out and cleaning house (brain refresh) one of those brain refreshers was to end a friendship, and it just keeps coming back and hitting me in the face, not because I think I should have dealt with it another way, but because I keep coming up with stuff I should have said or done A LONG time ago.... It is one thing for me to gripe about my husband, It is my release to refresh, but when I hear it constantly from someone else, then my toes are being stepped on, and enough is enough......

And on the kids note, Kids will make noise, and should NOT be told to keep quiet at all times....Kids will make a mess, you just help them clean it up and go from there, Kids will whine, that is a what they do, and kids will cry, they do not know how to deal with their emotions like an adult does......I may not be the PERFECT mother...I do not think there is such a thing.......BUT my kids will be allowed to be kids and learn from there experiences and decisions, that is the way they LEARN........

So these are a few of the things that was playing in my brain while I was suppose to be sleeping, and hopefully now that I have gotten them out they will not plague me tonight....

When I do decide to BLOW it is usually not just about one thing, it is a build up of all things...

Now with all that said (there was more, but I do not have the time right now) I should get my butt in gear, get the kids dressed (and myself) and get them a BIG brunch, because we have a LONG day ahead of us (I also have to put the roast in the slow cooker) Hope everyone has a beautiful day...........