Today has not been a very good day...... I have been "crying" not just the little tears down the cheeks but all out crying. Thank god Jack has decided to take a nap with William and Brooke is at my moms. I really think I needed this little break down to reevaluate and rejuvenate so that I can keep going on like everything is fine. For the kids sake I have to keep going on in this manner.
Have you ever just sat there and wondered what you ever did so wrong to be going through so much?
I feel so much like a burden to everyone in my life right now.............My family, my friends and my land lord.
I was invited to my parents for dinner this evening, and I had to leave. I went in the other room and told my mom that I was sorry but I was going home. She said "what did he do? She knew that my dad had something to do with it. I told her that he is telling me that I have to sell my stuff in storage or find somewhere else to put it, because he was not paying the storage fee anymore. I picked up my sleeping son, and told Jack I was going home. He just sat there and looked at me (I don't think he thought I was serious) I said to him I am serious I am going home. I called Brooke and told her to get ready to go. She just broke down in tears and said "we never get to go anywhere" So I told her to ask my mom if she could stay. I told my mom not to say anything to my dad. I don't want them fighting over me. But he just does not know how hard it is right now and I had to leave because I can't listen to it. I will be sending Jack out at 7:00 to go get Brooke, because I can not go anywhere right now.
Here it was suppose to be such a good day. We were suppose to put the ornaments on the Christmas tree and listen to some more Christmas music and pretend everything is just fine. Now I just want to take the tree down and say forget it, but for the kids I will not.
I just wish the damn tears would stop...........Everyone will know what I have been doing, because my face will be all puffy and my eyes are all red.
Oh Lord please hear my prayer.........I can not do this anymore...I need help...I am turning it all over to you...........Please Lord I have had enough and need you to take it on your shoulders, because my shoulders can not handle the load anymore....
Now that I have been sitting here and said my little plea to God, do I post this, or do I just delete it...........If I post this, this is my plea to all of you..........Please pray for me and my family...Pray that we get through all this and that we all come out stronger more loving people. Pray that something good comes along and that we can later look back and say "we did it"
My prayer for all of you is that you all know the glorious blessings there are with God in your life.......And that you all have a wonderful, safe, blessed Holiday season..........
7 comments:
Wendy, I am sending you the biggest, hardest hug I can manage. Do not EVER think that you are a burden. Don't you know how much joy you bring to all of us? And to all of the people that you stitch for? And to your husband and your kids? We at Loves look up to you, love you and are inspired by all that you do. No matter what is going on in your life, you have managed to give more than most people ever do.
You are always in my prayers. I wish so much that I could make things easier for you. It will get better and things will work out. It's really hard to see it sometimes, especially at Christmas when we want everything to be perfect. I know that God will bless you and help you like He has before, but I also know that sometimes it's very hard for us to wait it out.
We are here for you.
Love,
Suz
Love Wins (I promise)
More big hugs coming your way, girlfriend. I know there's not much anyone can say right now to make you feel better...I have been to rock bottom and felt this way, too. You will make it through this and be a better person for it. You are such a sweet, giving person and that will be rewarded. It's just hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. Hang in there and know that there are people who are thinking of you and praying for you. I know you probably don't see it right now, but you are a strong person...keep the faith. Hugs!
Wendy, Wendy, Wendy - Of COURSE you were meant to hit send. How in the hell are we supposed to know HOW to pray for you if YOU DON'T TELL US??? Hummmmmmm? You are the best, and it's not about IF we pray for you, but for what about. You are amazing, and the holiday season ALWAYS brings out the worst in families.
Okay, I'm sitting here looking at this scripture thingie on my desk....it says "The LORD reached down from on high and took hold of me, he drew me out of deep waters" (2 Sam 22:27)
Okay, how is HE going to lift you out of the deep waters if he doesn't let you get IN the deep waters?????
Hang in there. We may only be "online" friends, but you know what, God linked us all together for a reason. Make a nice cup of tea, kick back, take a deep breath, and realize you are not alone, life does NOT suck.....no matter how many speed bumps it thows you, and not matter what happens, it's all going to somehow work out in the end.
Big Ole Squishy Hugs!!!!
Shelly
My dearest Wendy, We have all been so blessed by you. By your wit and love for others (including your Loves family)....Remember that when you give something to God turn around and don't look back. Thank Him for hearing yours and our prayers for you. Thank Him for the door that He will open for you. And most of all thank Him for the Holy Spirit inside you giving you direction each day........You have very many friends in the Love's house and you can come to us anytime and we will by all means never turn you away.
You have so much love for others and the giving that you do will certainly bring blessing to you and your family.
We don't know what God has in store but rest assured that He sees the whole picture. I believe that hard times cause you do lean just a bit harder on your God.......
Take every day and find something to praise Him for and we will keep on praying. Remember not to pick back up what you have given to our Father God.
Please receive the long, hard and tearful hugs I am sending. Your Loves sisters cry with you so you don't look so puffy.
We love you
Diane
(((Wendy))) You will be remembered in a special way in my prayers until your burdens are lighter. I can't say 'lifted' because I think we all will always have some burden to bear, but I pray that yours is lightened - lightning fast like! ;)
Crying is good, sharing is better, turning it over to God is best. I think you have it all covered.
Even more (((hugs))). I'm so sorry to hear that times are tough for you right now, but yes they will get better, and yes you will look back on this and say, look at how far we've come! And I must say I admire your good judgement to walk away when you did instead of staying and having a horrible fake holiday! I say take your time and decorate your tree when you're in the mood for it!
I am sending a zillion hugs your way for you and your family and I wish that it could be more than hugs but love breaks through all barriers.
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