Grumpy is as grumpy gets.........

Grumpy yes that is what I am, then the more I think about it maybe it is not GRUMPY but the feeling and sense of helplessness.....

The more I read about people being sick the worse it gets.......I think what started it all was reading about a dear young girl in Georgia, who is battling cancer........She will be going home on Friday, her mother says she will not be going home to die "she will be going home to live" But the truth in the matter is, the child has no chance, unless by miracle, and I do believe in miracles....

Then I read of a young lady in Nevada, just diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and she has little ones and has lost twins.

The only defense and help I can be is to pray........But I don't feel that is enough.

I sit there and think of my little angels, what if it was one of them going home to "live", or what would happen to them if it was I who was the one stricken with such an ugly and devastating disease.

So I am beginning to think that on top of hormones and stress and everyday life that I can not cope with all the sorrow and so I have become GRUMPY..

My poor kids, they got the brunt of it today, I just did not have the patience to deal with them today, they were not being bad, just being kids. A little crabby themselves, but can I blame them, when I probably brought that on. I have to do something extra special for them tomorrow, maybe we will go for a drive and end up at the park, they would just love that, and I know that it will do me a world of good.

Jack called this evening and he is on his way from Iowa to New Jersey. I told him he could not make a pit stop in Atlantic City, Not without me........ I do miss him so...did not think it was possible.....and am feeling really bad that I have not been so very nice to him these past few months.. I put so much blame on him for all of our problems and that just is not right, we are PARTNERS and it was just as much my fault as his...I should have done something myself.......I plan on making it up to him when he comes back home, which will probably be in 3 weeks. Maybe just maybe my mother will take the kids for the day and we can spend some cuddle time together and just be us........

I had started the afghan, but not much in the mood to work on it right now.....in fact not much mood to do anything but maybe go to bed. Maybe sleep will come and I will wake up with a new outlook on life and not worry about what I have no control over.

Hug the one you love and tell them how much you love them, every chance you get, because you just never know when that chance may not come again..............