TIME

Yes I have some time....some time to actually sit here online and post, to try to read others blogs, for which most I can not read anything but the little preview....SO many of the blogs I love to read, take so long to load that the page expires, and no amount of refreshing and such allows me to read them...and some I am able to read, then try to comment on, and that is a no go.....It is just so very frustrating to me....I do not want anyone to think I am just not trying....and that I do not miss you all so very much............

It is like I am in mourning right now.....I do not get to chat with anyone, I get only a few moments in the morning or late night to check emails and try to do other things.....and I miss my "Family" so much......I miss my connection with the outside world...the peace of it all and the calm that I need to keep my chin up and go day to day.....


I have had some very bad days in the past couple of weeks...due to the very childish and stupid actions and words of some Grown Men that should know better, but NO instead they act worse than my YOUNG Children.....My dad can be such a jerk, and treats me so much differently than my brother and sister.....He acts just like his mother, who I do not like and do not take the time to see, and do not want my kids to be subjected to...and My dad was close to never seeing his grandkids ever again.....Jack has not been bad, he has actually been doing very well, and though he has his days of me wanting to shut his mouth with something big and hard, he actually usually has merit for his words...BUT you know, it gets tiring to always hear how much Rachel pisses him off, My brother he is just a jerk and take advantage of everyone, and does not care about anyone but himself.....And my dad, to sit there and threaten me with calling the health department because my cats hair was on the floor and the kids had toys out.....He had the gull to say that I have not done vacuumed or cleaned up the kids toys in the basement since we moved in....EXCUSE me...I vacuum twice a week, why do you think I brought MY vacuum, and Kids make messes, and I could pick up their toys ALL day long and they would still have more on the floor, AND then to yell at me and tell me to find somewhere else to live.....WELL I had the kids and cats in the car, and Jack was on his way out the door, when my mom and sister came out and begged us to not leave...THAT is after they had a little yelling match with my dad and told him how it is, and that the PIG of the house is his all mighty SON...and that he better get after him....

I rarely spend anytime upstairs, now, unless my dad is gone...I go up and cook supper, Put my clothes in the dryer, or go potty, otherwise...I just do not have any desire to be around him....I know I should get over it and move on.....BUT I am hurt, and have been hurt just way too many times.....to get over it that easily.....

I have been crocheting...I am making a baby set right now to put on Etsy, it will be a blanket, sweater, hat and socks....Maybe a bib....
I made a sale today........JUST in TIME...because the kids life insurance monthly premium is due, and I had no idea how I was going to pay it.....SO now it is paid til next month, then I will need that $13 to come again......My sister is taking care of most things, she makes sure we have gas money, and even bought the kids shoes, since they are growing like weeds.....She keeps the cats fed and litter bought also.....ALL of this without a word from me....it is like she knows, and comes through when needed....JUST like God.....he came through today with that sale, just when I was thinking that I could not pay the premium.......

My brother has brought his boys here, again.....til Sunday night.....SO it is going to be a mad house.....I have already made plans to be gone as much as possible....

William got registered for Head Start for the Fall, today...Now to get Brooke signed up for Kindergarten.....

I need to make another doctor appointment, to get him to go ahead and set up for me to see the specialist, to get this LUMP removed from my wrist...He thinks it is a ganglion cyst....BUT I need to see a specialist to be sure and to get it removed...and the sooner the better, because I want it out of the way by the end of June, along with getting the rest of the teeth pulled and a partial.......I do not want anything slowing me down once school starts for me, so that I can do what needs to be done, and get out of here.......

I sure hope you are all doing well..........Miss you all................