They don't matter

That is exactly what I am feeling right now. That my children do not count when it comes to my parents. If it was Rachel they do everything for her, run her back and forth to school, because they choose not to send her to a school that is located closer to her dad, so there is no busing available. She has now signed up to do cheer leading for the elementary flag football team, so she gets taken to the practices and games VIA my mom. They watch her when my sister is at work, or when she just decides that she wants to go somewhere and not take her. Then there is Jacob and Caleb, They get picked up by my brother at least once a month and stay for a week at a time, SO my mom watches them.

I called with a predicament, Jack has gotten a job offer, and it is for 6:00 a.m. to 2:30p.m.....We only have one car, Brooke is signed up for Head Start and will be going form 8:30a.m. to 12 noon. SO there is no way I can get her to school, she has no busing available in the mornings, but can ride a bus home, against my better judgement of letting a 4 yr old ride a school bus with NO seat belts. Then there is William, we have his IEP meeting set up for Tuesday at 9:30a.m. and he is set to begin his speech therapy on Wednesday. BUT it will also be in the mornings, so I have no way of getting him there. I talked to my mom and let her know my problem, and she said OK I will call you back and see what we can do. THEN she calls me back and says that my dad is going to have fits about having to run Brooke to school 4 days a week... NOW wait a minute, what is wrong with this picture. He does not throw a fit about running Rachel back and forth...SO I inform my mom that if he does then I will just tell him that I will pull his granddaughter out of school and William will not go either. She got pissed at me, I said "well what else is there for me to do"

I am flippin exhausted....I was trying to take a nap with my still very drugged son who has been having tests done, and Now I think I finally realize that My kids do not matter.....which means that if they do not matter, than I must not matter. I am SO drained emotionally.....

William had his EEG done yesterday and did very well, He was such a little man. He laid there for the 45 minutes and held my hand. He had numerous episodes during the procedure and I am thankful for that, because if there is a problem then they will be able to tell.
Today he had his MRI, and even thought the medicine they gave him was very nasty tasting, he drank it like a trooper, He fell asleep with in the 20 minutes and they came to get us. I got to carry him into the room and place him on the table. AND the best part was, I was allowed to stay right there with him. They put earplugs in his ears and strapped him done, just in case he was to wake up, and they gave me ear plugs also. I could either sit in the chair by the wall, or stand right there and lean on the table extension and watch my baby. I did both. He woke up fairly easy and we were allowed to leave, but under strict orders to not let him walk by himself or do any activity that he could get hurt from. He has not been very cooperative about staying still, so I have been jumping up and grabbing him before he falls. Like I said above, I did try to get him to take a nap with me, hoping it would help some of the sedation wear off more, but that was shot to he** by my phone call. He looks like a little drunk, and it is a little comical.

I will be calling the doctor on Friday to see what the tests have found, if anything. So I may not be back til then, depends on if I need to vent again, or not.
NOW I think I will go hide out in the bathroom for awhile and have a good cry......

Hope everyone is having a blessed day..........