A little girls request and A big girls confusion

While trying to put the kids to bed last night, Brooke decides that she wants me to tell Santa what she wants for Christmas time day (that is what she calls it )I said to her to tell me and I would let him know, and that hopefully he would be able to get it for her..

My precious daughter is not greedy in the least, this is what she is asking for.

Some "lipstick" (chap stick) for my lips to make them all better

Some clothes

and some new underwear because I am getting to be bigger

So I guess mommy had better get busy and find some "lipstick" to put in her stocking. And I will put her money from her Great grandma in her stocking with a note from "Santa" telling her that he would like her to go buy some underwear and clothes with the money, because he wants to make sure it is stuff she likes, so He thought it would be better for her to pick them out herself...I had already decided that the $35 from my grandma, that each kid got, would be used after Christmas for clothes that they are going to be needing real soon, since they are both growing like weeds....They both already have a few clothing items to be wrapped and put under the tree, along with some toys. My sister picked up some little goodies to put in their stockings, and I picked up some candy to add to them...

I had to buy them both a stocking, For the life of me I can not find any of our stockings...With moving 2 times in 4 months, it is no wonder that they are missing a long with some other things...I got very lucky with the stockings, I picked them up at Wal Mart, and they said $1.97. I said, ok....That is good, well then I get to the checkout and they are only 50 cents each...They are nothing fancy, just some felt with a little gold trim on the cuff...But they will do for them, until I can figure out how to make them some new ones....Or I find their other ones...They are crocheted ones, that my mother designed and made for all of us....so I really hope I find them....I suppose with the forthcoming move, that they could very well turn up, with in a place I have not looked (maybe like the boxes of craft stuff I have in the kids closet)

I brought home a trunk full of boxes from my friends, last night...So now I will start packing up stuff that I will not need in the next couple of weeks....The kids room will be transformed into a storage area for the boxes as they get filled....I will need to get some newspaper also, to pack up the glass stuff, maybe my dad has a stash for me to have, or even the landlord....I am not going to sit here and wait until that miracle comes about, because it may not consist of us staying here, and there is no way, with 2 kids, that I can wait until after Christmas to get busy....It took me 2 weeks in October to get the house all packed up, and sure there is less now, but the kids are also a little more active and demanding of attention....so It will probably take the rest of the month to get it all done.....

I will have to mark my box of squares, to be taken to my moms, for future assembly, also the baby stuff I have been looking for a place to donate to, locally, because of no postage money....and then for my yarn stash, that will be something that goes with me, and not set in a storage building, or my moms basement....Where I go is where it goes...Otherwise I would be sure to go insane, without being able to crochet, even if it may only be for a few minutes here and there.....

I guess I will also use the time to weed through some more unnecessary stuff, like pictures for the walls, that have not made their way on them, because of no room, or no interest in doing so...Candle holders that I love, but don't really have to have....crafts books, that have not been looked at for at least a year...and craft stuff that has been sitting waiting for me for even longer....Kids toys that do not interest them any longer, and just keep getting put deeper into the bottom of the toy box....Movies that I have watched and have not had the time to rewatch, or did not like the first time around, but thought I may like it better, at a later date....

We are thinking that the bedroom furniture may have to get left behind, because we have no one to help move it, and there is no way the 2 of us can move this big ass heavy solid wood stuff down a flight of stairs...I pray we do not have to do so, because it use to be Jack's parents, and was left to him when they both died.....

I am not giving up hope of that miracle to happen...because I do believe in Miracles, I just am being sensible, and know I can only do so much in so much time......so I would rather plan for the worse then hope for the best.....(does that make sense) (it almost sounds like I do not believe, but really I do) Maybe I should just let it all be, and then that miracle will happen...maybe I need to say "It will happen" and it will...Instead of "hoping" for it to happen. Maybe if I believe it to be so is the only way.....Am I suppose to believe it to be for it to be so.....But myself is thinking that if I do not take care of the packing that I am just trying to ignore the inevitable, and that if I do not think about it that it will all go away and I know that just not thinking about something does not make it go away. This situation is not something that can be ignored, because of the magnitude of what needs to be done, to prepare for it....

Boy oh boy I am just confusing myself, but I am so trying to understand my thoughts and what I am suppose to do.....That is why I am sitting here so very tired, but can not sleep...I just can not shut off the brain and get some much needed sleep......

I think that I will just reach over, in a minute and I have hit the post button, and delve into my bible for some answers......If nothing else maybe it will help shut off the brain and get my self to sleep.....maybe that is what I am suppose to do right now.....

So sorry if I have confused all of you, as I am confused...I guess I did not want to be a confused mess on my own....had to get you all involved, also....Are you all sitting there right now, saying, what in the world is she talking about....what is her problem, is she insane (just a little) or are you saying ok just shut up and go to bed.....

I hope you are all settling down with your holiday preparations and starting to relax a tad.....

Hug the ones you love and pray for the ones you don't......