Guardian Angel Prayer
Angel of God, my guardian dear,
To whom God's love committs me here,
Ever this day be at my side,
To light, to guard, to rule, and guide.
From sinful stain Oh keep me free,
And in each hour my helper be.
Boy when it rains it pours.........I got a phone call this morning. It was from one of my so called resources...Housing Resources of Greater Lapeer....The lady told me the same thing I have heard over and over again."We can not help you unless you have a Court ordered eviction notice or you are homeless".....Then she goes on to tell me my "Rights" ...Your land lord can not kick you out with out a court order, your land lord can not show your apartment without your permission....Ya Ya tell me, I have already heard it...How do I tell my land lord that I am not leaving the first because he has not taken me to court, When he has already done so much for us and he is just barely getting by himself, because he lives off our rent, I can not, besides, what good would that do, it would buy us maybe 30 days, then where would we be, The same place we are right now....Looking at being homeless........
How can I do without my Internet, is what I keep thinking, because you know I could not keep doing this without my online angels....How could I go without my Blog so that I have a form of venting, without any one getting hurt in the process, and my kids taking the brunt of the frustration.......
My mom says " we will make room" ya sure and how do we do that? There is already 4 adults and one child in the 3 bedroom house. If my brother would grow some balls and kick the witch out of his house and get custody of his kids, then he would have a place to stay, instead of my parents basement....It is pretty bad that he bought a house, has 2 kids, pays all the bills, and is living with my parents, because his "girlfriend" kicked him out.....
My landlord called me today, also, and yes we have to get out, because his other renter up and snuck off, so he has NO money coming in.....He can not rent out the "chicken coop" unless it is someone he knows, because it is not "legal" Our apartment is legal and he has to get it inspected and the township knows about it, but not the apartment in the chicken coop.....
Jacks first thought was "screw him" Ya sure Jack and why would you do that, It is not Bob's fault, He has done nothing but try to work with us.
Everyone is blaming everyone else in this situation, when there is no one person to blame....I would blame the State, if I had to lay blame on anyone.....
I keep telling myself "everything is going to work out" It is like a broken record going off in my head...saying it over and over and over....But it is not working, I am just plain sick to my stomach....
Fixed chicken pot pie for supper, took one bite and thought I was going to have to go run to the bathroom....Jack said, you did not eat, No I am not hungry, I'm not one who can wolf down something while I am totally sick over something....I can not just keep going on like everything is just fine, when my insides are just being torn to pieces....I can try, when it comes to the kids. I try to go on like there is nothing wrong for their sake. I get up with them, I play with them, I do what needs to be done where their concerned.....
If I could trust Jack to stay awake with the kids, I would go crawl in bed and go to sleep, because I am just Drained....But he is good for falling asleep, so I have to stay up and go on......
The funny part is, his whole family is just totally clueless what is happening, because they don't give a rats ass about us, and never even call just to say HI...His nephew wants us to come over for New Years Day for dinner, Ya sure....I don't think so......I don't want to be around anyone right now...
I did manage to buy William a toy for his Birthday, and ordered a small cake....Will do the Birthday stuff with my family on Monday..but his family has not even bothered to answer my calls, return my emails or messages when I asked them to spend the day with him on Sunday for his birthday...
What next........what will I be told next..........What kind of phone call will I get the next time........
What What What..........................
3 comments:
One thing at a time....stop worrying about the next. ( and when I figure out how to do that, you'll be the FIRST person I notify with clear instructions). Keep praying, keep trusting...I will keep praying too. Wish there was something more physical I could do to fix it. There's lots I'd like to fix. I guess on Jan 1, it's time to show up on the county's front step and say it's time for help, we are now homeless. Bah. Prevention is such a key, and why is that never the answer. Is the chicken coop available for awhile? Am I stepping in chicken poop by asking? You are right, some how some way it is going to work it's way out. Yep, it may get ugly. Life does do that from time to time. Keep enjoying your kids and everything that you can, day by day. I know it's an unimaginable stress........but do try to suck some joy out of every day. Okay, you've got 20 more days for God to show up with one of His brilliant plans. He may not, I know that, but He could be taking you somewhere you'd never imagine that's all worth it, in it's timing. KWIM? Keep hanging one, and stop cutting yourself an ulcer!!! That is NOT going to help at all, young lady!!!!
love ya!
I AM SORRY WE HAD TO LET YOU DOWN.
LOVE YOU
Sooner or later (Please God, let it be sooner!!!) the "what next" will be the good news, the answer that we are all praying for. You are right, when it rains, it pours. It always does that.
Listen to Shelly, she always knows what to say better than I do. And look for the rainbow too after the storm. I know it sounds hokey, but I've seen some beautiful ones in my own life. They are God's promise to not abandon us.
If you can't eat, try something easy to swallow, like yogurt. (That's what works for me.) And get outside, get some air, take some pictures. (That's also what works for me.) If it's not too slippery, try to get out for a walk.
If you can't blog for a while, keep a written journal and hide it.
You do need to vent.
We love you and you won't lose us no matter what.
Love,
Suz
Love Wins
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