WHY

Why do I care what others think of me...........Why do I try to be the better person..........Why do I even try to talk to some people when they don't give a damn.............Why do I read and read and read and only get angrier about what someone is saying about me and let it bother me.....

I was surfing the web, I decided to check out my brother's Bit** website to see what she has been making and selling. On my little search I discovered her blog. HMM interesting, she has had one since Nov. 2006. Lets see what she has to say... I go all the way to the beginning. Oh this is nice, WAIT my baby's picture is on here, Oh well, she is proud of her new nephew. Oh look it is the Christmas pictures, and it just keeps going and going. Ok I have been sitting here for hours reading this blog and just fuming as I go along. The things she says about my brother, my mother and my children. Myself and my husband that she had the gull to call Bitchster and Assband. I have for YEARS tried to keep the peace and go with the flow, for my brothers sake, but no more. No not I.........I am done.................2 years ago she promised me a quilt, for my Christmas and Birthday present. Queen size, in greens....I still have yet to receive it...Well on her blog she has sent it to the quilters in July (that is when she referred to us in those names)
Well you know what? I don't want the thing, I don't even want to see it..........I want nothing to do with her or anything she is giving. I will not be having her for Williams 2 nd Birthday, I will not be in the same space as her for Christmas, I do not ever want to set eyes on her hateful self ever again.

How can she even say that my brother is hateful, mean, an asshole, uncaring, irresponsible, etc. When he bought a house in his name (they are not even married and have 2 sons, planned that way, so she could still get survivors benefits and state aid) He is the one working 2 jobs, to pay all the bills, including supporting her stay at home self and her 16 yr old son, and guess where he is, Our parents, because she kicked him out. She is a control freak to the end. Just like my ex brother in law was.............

I am just so infuriated, and I tried to talk to my mother and she reamed me a new a**hole. For calling her.

I give up on family..........My family is here in this house, my babies and their daddy............I have just had it with the favoritism and taking of sides. I just needed to talk, and the first person that comes to my mind is MOM........Then my sister calls me back from her bedroom and wants to know what that was all about, I told her.........She says "she tells him she loves him, I hear her say it when they talk on the phone" Ya sure, if that is love then I must be stupid..........

I am sitting here in tears now, I have so much anger within me at this moment.

I would give out her blog for you all to read, but then she might find mine someway, and I do not want her to know nothing about me or "my family" She uses her past as excuses. She was adopted, she had 2 failed marriages, she raised her son on her own, she found her adoptive mother but she can not even remember what her daughters fathers name was, she has PMDD, she had 3 miscarriages, She can't stand me and thinks I am insane and a leach. She then says "I am a caring loving individual when I am not PMSing, but no one can get past that part of me"
Well maybe it is because you say and so such hateful things that just can not be forgotten.

I just absolutely hate it when people use their past as an excuse for the way they act or do things......Come on now, you get past things and move on and go from there, not root from there. Believe me I don't have a pretty past, but you know it is not a part of who I am now. I have gotten past it and moved on.

My ex brother in law did the same thing, he used his past as to why he treated everyone the way he did. Hey his mom use to beat him, so it was perfectly fine to hit my sister. I don't think so........I don't have no family and no one likes me.........well wake up and smell the coffee........

On a happier note, I have been practicing my knitting again...........I really needed a break and change of pace. I am doing much better this time around, and am even going to try to increase and decrease.

Tomorrow is Halloween (well actually today now) I tried the kids costumes on them and I will have to pin up Brooke's Doctor pants a little bit, But otherwise they fit with room for layers underneath. I of course will get pictures and post them.

For now I do believe I will take my tired butt to bed, and hopefully I will have put this all past me when I wake up................

Hug the ones you love .........And be kind to those you don't...........